nicolegendary:

rune-midgarts:

oh my jesus just listen to it

download here

(Source: facebook.com)

(Source: bmxgifs)

m-dnightblue:

so i lost my phone in school today and to test if the phone was mine the cop asked what my screeensaver was.

i had to tell her this

(Source: crystalmycastles)

One night President Obama and his wife Michelle decided to do something out of routine and go for a casual dinner at a restaurant that wasn’t too luxurious. When they were seated, the owner of the restaurant asked the President’s Secret Service if he could please speak to the First Lady in private. They obliged and Michelle had a conversation with the owner. Following this conversation President Obama asked Michelle, “Why was he so interested in talking to you?” She mentioned that in her teenage years, he had been madly in love with her. President Obama then said, “So if you had married him, you would now be the owner of this lovely restaurant,” to which Michelle responded, “No. If I had married him, he would now be the President.”

(Source: lvmrsmn)

(Source: theclearlydope)

(Source: pyrexvisean)

maximumbuttitude:

hey

you

dont you dare think

for even a second

that nobody saw you

when you decided this waS AN ACCEPTABLE WAY TO PARK YOUR VEHICLE BECAUSE IS AW IT OKAY I FUCKING SAW IT YOUR SHITTY PARKING JBO IS ON GOOGLE MAPS IN FRONT OF THE ENTUIRE WORLD

projectsatan:

(Source: cheia)

fat-birds:

aquanite: She always tries to stop me from getting work done…so I have to scoot her fat booty over. MOVE, LADY

(Source: kristenwiiggle)